5AM Thoughts

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I'm not good enough. 

Nobody will like my music.  

Im not thin enough.  

My lyrics aren't clear enough. 

My voice is too plain.  

My ideas are silly.  

I'm not sure what the right move is.  

I don't know what I'm doing.  

 

 

Amongst about a gajillion others, these are some of the thoughts I'm struggling through as I'm preparing to release three songs next month. Next MONTH?!?!

 

The crazy thing is that it's the culmination of everything I've been dreaming of all my life! And while, yes, there's some fear of rejection, I'm also terribly afraid of success. In fact, I'm almost running from it.  

 

And to be honest, I'm way too concerned with what people think. I don't want anyone to think that I think I'm the best. And I don't want anyone to think that I suck. Superhuman mind control powers would be awesome right about now! I promise I'd use them only for good! 😜

 

 The truth is. I'm not doing this for them. I am obeying a calling. I'm doing this for that one person who struggles with cutting or suicidal thoughts like I did.  I want that one person to know that it WILL all be okay soon. Hang on to your hope and faith! I'm doing this for that one person who needs to be inspired that after living through absolute chaos, truly ANYTHING is possible. I'm doing this for the young girl who needs to know that she doesn't have to be skinny, she doesn't need to have a perfectly symmetrical face, have a lot of money or even know everything there is to know about her dream yet.

 

She just needs to decide to let that voice inside of her become louder than all of the noise. She needs to know that if I can do it, anyone can. Seriously. SERIOUSLY!  

 

Next month feels like a terrifying moment of truth. I can't keep getting ready to get ready. I need to make like Nike and Just Do It! ...(Not to be cheesy or anything!).  

 

Here I go!  

Sachiko Nuila

Irvine, CA 92618